How to Fail Miserably at Guitar Hero
by Val-Creative
Summary: "Mind taking off your wussy dress and playing a big boy game with me?" Crack-ish. Prussia and Austria. Gilbird. Guitar Hero. A bust of Mozart. Requested by Hetalia Kink Meme. Standalone.


.o.o.o.

A small, twittering yellow bird fluttered in through the open, curtained window in his sunlit parlor before perching itself comfortably on top of his head.

Austria grew still from his previous task of dusting the bookcase and tilted his head to the left carefully with the bird still attached to him. The bird indeed did not move. He tilted his head to the right cautiously. The bird again did not move but this time trilled at him cheerfully. Three seconds later, Prussia kicked the front door in. "I'm H_OOO~OOO_ME!"

"...Oh joy," Austria said dryly, folding his arms.

The other nation snickered at him, placing down his brown grocery bags and a curious object bearing a striking resemblance to a guitar. Except with... many colorful, bullet-shaped buttons on its front. "You have a bird." Prussia's index finger made a twisty motion to the space above his own head. "On your head."

"_Brilliant deduction_."

At that, the little bird took off, circling the parlor for a moment before landing gently on a bust of a stern-faced and neckerchiefed Mozart nearby, folding its head under its wing.

Prussia snorted, shoving the rather bulky bags with the tip of his boot behind the loveseat, causing Austria to quirk an eyebrow in skepticism. Probably more cases of wine for the cellar._ Rapid alcoholic_. "Thought you'd want to know, that's all. _Shit_. You are going to be fun tonight, aren't you?" The silver-haired nation then picked up the curious, guitar-shaped object leaning on the loveseat. "Mind taking off your wussy dress and playing a big boy game with me?"

Ignoring the stab at his choices in cleaning aprons, Austria asked with resignation, "…What, pray tell, is it?"

"I nicked it off that asshole America. Some music video game. I tried it out… it's really easy," Prussia offered, smirking when something akin to mild interest appeared in the other nation's eyes.

"Oh?" Austria put on a show of dignified aloofness, sniffing and waving the back of a slender hand in Prussia's direction. "I don't have time for video games."

"Figured you'd say that," Prussia countered, feigning a defeated sigh, and sidling up to the brown-haired nation.

Austria stiffened in undisguised horror when the other nation began to casually pluck out lovingly worn art books from their _neat_ and _tidy_ alphabetical order, and with a lively hum, began tossing them over his shoulder haphazardly onto the cushions of the loveseat. "Figured you would wimp out on a game like this. I know I am too _awesome_ to defeat." Prussia said with an added arrogant chuckle, "...It's not like you are any good at this music thing anyway—"

He was interrupted by the sensation of slender, cold fingers biting into his bare wrist preparing to carelessly toss (and possibly…and heaven forbid… _crinkle in the SLIGHTEST those full colored pages of_) the next precious art book of Austria's collection. A pair of violet eyes met a pair of now satisfied garnet red.

"How does one… _play_?"

.o.o.o.

_Twenty minutes later..._

.o.o.o.

"…Why has the little green button there set itself on fire?"

"That doesn't matter_—_and don't hold it like that_. Damn_!" Prussia snapped, leveling the guitar game console back to Austria's side as it mysteriously found itself rising with Austria's now aching hands. "Just press the right color of the buttons when they show up! It is not that fucking hard to get..." The silver-haired nation then superiority surveyed the other nation as he made a deep, guttural noise with the base of his throat, blushing frustrated.

"How are the _buttons _being held down for an extended period of time _relevant_ to this game? And what _infernal racket_ is this supposed to be? What America considers _music_?"

"It's "I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones… you chose it." Prussia bit his lower lip in struggling mirth though his voice could not pretend to be unamused.

"It was on the easy level out of the rest! I have never heard of any of these...— _what just happened_?" Austria said with a note of panic, slamming his hand repeatedly on the multicolored buttons.

Prussia then started laughing madly, clutching his sides. "Your Rock Level just died and now you are getting booed off stage." He brushed a bit of tears from his garnet red eyes, still giggling as the fit tampered off and as Austria's mouth dropped open in outrage. "Congratulations, asshole. You lost."

"There is no…" Austria began to shake the guitar-shaped object in his hands as if picturing a dear enemy were in them instead. "…_sophistication_ in this ridiculous game!" He spat out his words.

"You are just mad because you suck at it so much. If we had been playing the two-player mode, you would have been conquered by me _again_."

Austria huffed quietly, watching as the other nation kicked into the view one of his brown grocery bags, extracting a wine bottle.

_Of course..._

"Here!" The violet-eyed nation ordered, roughly unhooking the game console from the television and shoving all of the amenities into Prussia's free hand as the other nation stared. "Take this… _THING…_ back to America where it belongs. Never again in my house," he muttered under his breath, marching away, "_Never, ever again_..."

Prussia stared down at the music video game and then asked thoughtfully to Austria's tensing back entering the kitchen, "…What about _Dance Dance Revolution?_"

"…I _dislike _you sometimes."

.o.o.o.

* * *

_I kind of wanted to unnecessary make this **Prussia/Austria yaoi **but... didn't work out that way. Oh well. Can't always get what you want. Any **comments **about this are welcome. Sympathy for poor Austria?_

_Requested by the **Hetalia Kink Meme**. Anon, you want__ed_ _some snark. Hope I could deliver a little._


End file.
